“We Never Did This”: Understanding Memory Challenges in Children with DLD

For children with Developmental Language Disorder (DLD), the phrase “We never did this” is an all-too-common statement. Teachers and therapists hear it often even when a concept has been explicitly taught numerous times, leading to frustration for both the child and the adult. But this reaction is not a lie, defiance, or a sign of inattention. Instead, it highlights the significant memory challenges and difficulty with statistical learning that are hallmarks of DLD (Abbott & Love, 2023).

The Role of Statistical Learning in Language Acquisition

Typical learners rely on statistical learning—an unconscious ability to detect patterns and probabilities in language input—to make sense of words, grammar, and structure. This ability helps them recognize which sounds frequently co-occur in their language, how sentences are typically structured, and how ideas flow in written and spoken discourse (Alt, 2018; Romberg & Saffran, 2010). However, research shows that children with DLD struggle with extracting and generalizing patterns from the language they hear. Instead of organically recognizing patterns, they require explicit instruction, multiple exposures, and a far greater number of retrieval opportunities to consolidate their learning (Pomper, et al, 2022; Gray, 2003; Rice et al, 1994; Leonard et al., 2021, 2022, 2024).

When statistical learning is impaired, nothing feels familiar, and previously learned information fails to stick (Romberg & Saffran, 2010). This is why a child with DLD may look at a writing work on nouns, verbs, and adjectives that follows the same structure as last week’s session and insist that they have never seen it before. They are not lying, or deliberately forgetting; their brain simply has not encoded the pattern in a way that allows for easy recall.

The Crushing Impact of Cognitive Load

Children with DLD are constantly operating under a higher cognitive load than their neurotypical peers (Sweller, van Merrienboer & Paas, 1998). Every aspect of language processing—from understanding directions to formulating sentences—demands more mental effort (Martin & Evans, 2020). The more cognitive resources are spent on decoding language, the fewer are available for storing and retrieving information from memory (Archibald & Gathercole, 2007).

Consider a writing task. For a child with DLD, this requires:

• Remembering the topic and goal of the assignment.
• Structuring ideas into a logical sequence
• Using correct sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation.
• Recalling vocabulary and spelling words accurately.
• Managing the motor planning required for handwriting or typing.

Each of these demands competes for limited working memory resources, making it difficult to encode the writing process into long-term memory (Larson & Ellis Weismer, 2022). Even if the student successfully completes the task today, they may struggle to retrieve the same knowledge tomorrow.

Why Mastery Takes So Long—Especially in Writing

Writing is often referred to as the apex skill of language because it requires the integration of multiple language domains: phonology, morphology, syntax, semantics, and pragmatics. It is one of the most challenging academic tasks for students with DLD because it demands:

• High-level organization of thoughts.
• Fluent sentence construction with proper grammar.
• Sustained memory recall of previously learned concepts.
• Self-monitoring to revise and edit content.

Each step in this process introduces multiple points of failure, requiring additional scaffolding, explicit instruction, and targeted retrieval practice (Leonard et al., 2021, 2022, 2024). For children with DLD, even a well-taught concept might feel new every time they encounter it because the connections between learned material remain weak without intensive and structured reinforcement.

What Can Be Done?

Understanding the root of these memory and learning difficulties is the first step toward effective intervention (Larson & Ellis Weismer, 2022). Some evidence-based strategies include:

1. Spaced Repetition – Reintroducing concepts at strategic intervals rather than relying on massed practice (Kang, 2016).
2. Structured Multimodal Support: Provision of visual, verbal, gestural, and written support through prompts and cues to reinforce memory and facilitate learning.
3. Explicit Teaching of Patterns – Since statistical learning is weak, children need direct instruction in recognizing grammatical structures and writing conventions.
4. Cognitive Load Reduction – Breaking writing tasks into smaller, manageable chunks to avoid overwhelming working memory.
5. Frequent Retrieval Opportunities – Encouraging students to recall and use learned information across different contexts (Leonard et al., 2021, 2022, 2024).

The Takeaway

A child with DLD is not lazy, inattentive, or defiant when they say, “I never did this.” Their brains are simply wired differently, making pattern recognition, memory retrieval, and mastery of language-intensive tasks—like reading and writing—a monumental challenge (Winget & Persky, 2022). It is not enough to expose them to concepts once or even twenty times; they need ongoing long-term structured, repeated, and explicit instruction to achieve true mastery.

By understanding the underlying cognitive barriers they face, educators and therapists can shift from frustration to strategic, evidence-based intervention, ensuring that these children get the support they need to succeed.

References:

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